The Art Of Caregiving (Honestly!)

Caregiving is a fine line. If a caregiver loses his credibility people can get hurt.

A person should be able to ask basic questions about drugs and alcohol without intending to be committed to an asylum, which is often the feeling that results from simply an evangelistic attitude about recovery. Suddenly you have an inheritable disease and if you don’t believe it’s for the rest of your life, you’re kidding yourself. What other mental illnesses are so … diagnosed without a license?

It’s easy to understand potential addicts and alcoholics running for the hills from the very thing that could save them, a meeting.

A question was posed in Quora, “Am I an alcoholic because I drink every day?”

It was too vague to say “yes,” nevertheless well-meaning people came right in to assure the probably-decent stranger he was probably on the road to becoming an alcoholic. I think that’s irresponsible.

Drugs in perfectly dangerous forms occur in nature, like the poppy seeds you buy from McCormick at Stop and Shop. Mexican tribes use very strong hallucinogenic drugs religiously, and when creating art. Big pharma isn’t to blame, and neither are the drugs themselves.

Attitudes are insidious, and can be in unexpected ways. To really help, be honest, until you die. Honesty is the antithesis of the “disease,” and is our only weapon.

Don’t be confrontational, don’t be nice … dig deep and pour your honesty out. Humans will change their lives for something they believe in, but please be honest so you don’t lose your credibility, … then people can die.

Be peaceful.

Here’s my Quora response:

Question: “I’m 26 and I drink almost every night. What is wrong with me?”

Answer: Nothing. Do you have a problem? You have not indicated any problem at all. There is no reason for me to think anything is wrong, or there’s any bad behavior or bad results.

On the other hand if you want there to be something wrong with you, you could keep drinking every day and imagining you’re unique.

Do you have a job? A hobby?

Do you spend all day helping the elderly for no pay, or maybe saving puppies from dangerous situations, leaving you exhausted, and then enjoy a nice cold brew after manhandling a dragon for dinner over a winter campfire?

Or do you sit around and feel sorry for yourself and wonder if drinking a lot is somehow a good idea?

Just “I drink” isn’t the point. The attitude is the first thing, then also behavior and results, then history. You have no context. And don’t wish it on yourself!

Carry on!


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