Posted on by Mark Urso

Oppression-Free Sex and Your Child’s Education

Critical Theory That Doesn’t Exist

Sometimes, I admit, I write about divisive and controversial subjects, and I never know if people are going to accuse me of theorizing about reality, or theorizing about speculative stuff, or theorizing about real things that are going on in the world that are known as conspiracies.

But not this time! Nope! This time my new article is all on the up and up!

It’s written for parents and youngsters – ninth-graders are welcome! No sensitive language here! It’s all about schooling our little babies and making sure they’re safe, and schoolteachers and people people trust. There may be a mention of some wayward children’s heroes who’ve already been quashed appropriately by big brother and the lefty goonies, like Dr. Seuss’s Benjamin B. Bicklebaum … but we’ll steer far clear of any underpants-themed children’s novels, which I confess I allowed my child to read.

There won’t be any gunslinging, no special treatment of white privileged “snow whites” by racist dwarves, no bigot Tom and Jerry types to tarnish our good souls, or the souls of our children.

So, go grab your little ones and gather ’round for today’s expression of DEEP love and unity. It’s provided by the progressive-thinking Loudon County (Virginia) school board, who are entrusted with the upbringing … oh, you know.

They take care of people’s kids. They’re teachers, educators, hugely respectable and honorable people. Them.

Now let’s learn.

Thanks for sticking around this far. You won’t be disappointed. The learning will be eye-opening!

As reported by Redstate and The Blaze, educators in Virginia (slogan – “is for lovers”) have hand-selected books for your children which will enlighten the kiddies to the wonderful world of sex. The new curriculum is devoid of dangerous predatory Mexican cartoon bandits and green eggs … AND ham. Instead, the little ones have been enjoying cute NEW stories about sex and violence, like this, as described by The Blaze, reporting on this week’s board meeting and input that came from local parents: “… The first mom reads from a book describing a domestic violence scenario where the narrator talks about a female ‘coming out of some car in these tight-a** little shorts … telling me she’s going to leave me.'”

“I grab her by the neck and start punching her,” the mother continues to read. Later, the narrator describes keeping the female “in a closet for a couple of days” where “she kept on screaming, begging to be let out. Begging for water.”

You’ll be happy, too, I’m sure, to hear, as The Blaze says “The rest of the excerpts were sexual in nature.”

There’s not enough time here, now, to really appreciate the deep, textured, meaningful prose being crammed down these kids throats by their caring educators, but this one, below, is typically inventive and fun-spirited:

“Jasper wasn’t even my boyfriend, just this dude I did some hacking with once in a while,” the second mother reads. “He was pretty basic…but he had a big d***. And sometimes a girl just needs a big d***.”

Parents read aloud some of this splendid stuff Tuesday night.

This is clearly a reinvention of ninth-grade reading materials. Not since Captain Underpants have parents been so interested in the decisions being made by those trusted to raise their kids in the classroom.

But Cap’n Underpants didn’t have nothin’ on this literary thrill ride!

Not to spoil the story, but yes, there’s violent sex IN the classroom, sure! “A ‘boy — his pants around his ankles — squeezed between April’s straddled legs as she lay on top of a teacher’s desk.’ The narrator describes flipping the ‘boy’ around, ‘pushing him against the wall’ and then dropping to their knees.’”

Still, not all parent reactions Tuesday were open-minded and supportive! We haven’t identified this intolerant parent yet (below), but she’s sure to be causing more trouble with her pious energy. The FBI’s probably on it.

Equity, Equality, White Privilege, Christian Oppressors, violent adult sex acts … yes, it’s all covered in the new learning plan!

Any teachers who aren’t on board with critical race theory and the new poison pill, will probably face disciplinary action. The most bold of the detractors actually put together a public service announcement. On Twitter, Ian Prior (@iandprior) tells us “#Loudouncounty parents have set up an organization to help the community fight back against this school board and lead the way forward. Go to http://fightforschools.com and sign up for our emails or donate to help keep putting out ads like this.”

It’s good those who prefer to have their kids taught regular reading and ‘rithmatic have a pathway to express themselves, to have their voices heard regarding the changes, which they feel were kept secret from them. The school officials have not responded, but should be expected to keep their education skills sharp and punchy.

Some parents are getting together to file a lawsuit. It’s expected the school board will defend its decisions, based on goodness, and, after all, the books were written by some of the school’s most admired 10th-graders. One such confused parent, who didn’t want to be named, was quoted by The Blaze, saying “This is the same district that banned Dr. Seuss and ‘Huckleberry Finn’ as being ‘offensive,’ yet they’re having children read pornography that violates every code of conduct in their sexual harassment training.”

I’m sure the authorities will explain it to him.

But most parents are breathing a sigh of relief today, knowing their babies aren’t being surreptitiously fed information about racist characters like Yosemite Sam or Aunt Jemima.

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Mark Urso
mark@markurso.com
@A_Candle_Lit

2 Replies to “Oppression-Free Sex and Your Child’s Education”

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