There’s mean, then there’s mean. I mean professional mean. The kind of mean that can win you a Nobel Prize.
Bob Dylan knows how to do it. This bit of sharply venomous prose is from his professional pen. It was an oddball on his 1975 album “Blood on the Tracks,” because the rest of the album was just plain old fun. On this tune, Bob got a little out of hand. I toned it down to a medium-sharp countryish, more manageable thing.
I hope it makes you smile!
Idiot Wind
Lyrics:
Someone’s got it in for me! They’re planting stories in the press!
Whoever it is I wish they’d cut it out quick! When they will I can only guess!
They say I shot a man named Gray and took his wife to Italy
She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me
… I can’t help it if I’m lucky!
People see me all the time and they just can’t remember how to act
Their minds are filled with big ideas, images and distorted facts
Even you, yesterday, you had to ask me where I was at
I couldn’t believe after all these years you didn’t know me any better than that
… Sweet lady!
Idiot wind! Blowin every time you move your mouth!
Blowing down the backroads headin’ south
Idiot wind! Blowing every time you move your teeth
You’re an idiot babe! It’s a wonder that you still know how to breathe!
———
I ran into the fortune teller who said beware of lightning that might strike!
I haven’t known peace and quiet for so long I can’t remember what it’s like
There’s a lone soldier on the cross, smoke pourin’ out of a boxcar door
You didn’t know it, you didn’t think it could be done
In the final end he won the war, after losing … every battle!
I woke up on the roadside, daydreamin’ ’bout the way things sometimes are
Visions of your chestnut mare shoot through my head and are makin’ me see stars
You hurt the ones that I love best and cover up the truth with lies
One day you’ll be in the ditch, flies buzzin’ around your eyes
… Blood on your saddle
Idiot wind! Blowin through the flowers on your tomb!
Blowing through the curtains in your room
Idiot wind! Blowing every time you move your teeth
You’re an idiot babe! It’s a wonder that you still know how to breathe!
———
It was gravity which pulled us down and destiny which broke us apart
You tamed the lion in my cage but it just wasn’t enough to change my heart
Now everything’s a little upside down, as a matter of fact the wheels have stopped
What’s good is bad, what’s bad is good, you’ll find out when you reach the top
… You’re on the bottom
I noticed at the ceremony, your corrupt ways had finally made you blind
I can’t remember your face anymore your mouth has changed your eyes don’t look into mine
The priest wore black on the 7th day and sat stone-faced while the buildings burned
I waited for you on the running boards, near the cypress trees, while the springtime turned
… Slowly into Autumn
Idiot wind! Blowin in a circle around my skull
From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Capitol
Idiot wind! Blowing every time you move your teeth
You’re an idiot babe! It’s a wonder that you still know how to breathe!
———
I can’t feel you anymore, I can’t even touch the books you’ve read
Every time I crawl past your door, I been wishin’ I’d been somebody else instead
Down the highway, down the tracks, down the road to ecstasy
I followed you beneath the stars, hounded by your memory
… And all your ragin’ glory
I been double crossed now for the very last time and now I’m finally free!
I kiss goodbye the howling beast on the borderline which separated you from me
You’ll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above
And I’ll never know the same about you Your holiness or your kind of love
… And it makes me feel so sorry
Idiot wind! Blowin through the buttons of our coats
Blowin’ through the letters that we wrote
Idiot wind! Blowing through the dust upon our shelves
We are idiots, babe! It’s a wonder we can even feed ourselves!
###